The Search for the Truth
by IfEaRnOfIsH
Summary: Based on the awesome comic strip - The Search for the Truth. Five Canadians in Cardiff City. One Torchwood hub. One Clairey-Wairey Detector. One Dalek in a jar. One British man in the magic blue box. ONE SEARCH FOR THE TRUTH! Rated for language only.
1. Of Torchwood Watching in the Rain

**Disclaimer: **

I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! I especially DO NOT own the awesome art work this small parody is based on. But…if I DID…*Entertains bad thoughts*

**Author's Note:**

I'm a member of DeviantArt, (And if you DON'T know what it is, go Google it, you pitiful human being.) And I stumbled across a comic, "Search for the Truth."

And, from then on in, I was completely and utterly HOOKED on the genius of this comic. The sheer GENIUS is just mind-boggling!

And then a few little ideas popped up in my head, and refused to go away. So when I asked the artist very nicely if I could write a fic, she said YES!

And so here we are.

I give you, Search for the Truth, in fic form.

*Squee*

**Chapter One – Torchwood Watching in the Cardiff Rain**

It was all very quiet in central Cardiff. All that could be heard was the soothing sound of water rushing down the tall, imposing, (And awfully blatant) tower that sat in the middle of the square. The infamous building opposite caused gorgeous reflections in the films of water that ran down the side of the glass, but no one was there to pay any attention to them.

For the residents of Cardiff had looked out of their windows, and decided it wasn't worth going out today. And this was because the weather was simply _quite awful_.

Rain drummed down upon the square, causing that sharp little smell that is only ever bought about when concrete is wet. The sound of thunder rippled in the grey, overcast sky, and lightening flashed within it regularly, as if to make it quite clear that its presence was required to complete the storm.

No one really cared. Everyone was cooped up inside their homes, playing board-games because the weather had mucked up their satellite televisions. It seemed that everyone shared the same view - Monopoly was a better option than facing the world outside.

Except for the seventeen year old sitting on top of that block of flats over there.

She sat with her legs folded neatly underneath her, the rain drumming against her upright figure. Her hair hung limp around her shoulders, but she seemed to hardly pay it any notice at all, and the jeans she wore were turning a deep blue from all the rain she'd been sitting in. She wore a red UNIT cap backwards upon her head; it was quite limp with all this rain, and it was this limpness that made it resemble the main body of a dead jellyfish.

Her elbows rested on her knees to hold up the pair of binoculars she stared devotedly through.

And the T-Shirt she wore simply stated, "PWND."

'They'll have to come out _some _time.' She muttered to herself in her American accent. 'Won't they, Lars?'

Allie Nielsen was not alone though. What resembled a small jam jar sat beside her, and it grumbled at her moodily. Allie interpreted the grumble as a noise of agreement, and gave it a firm nod.

'That's right, Lars. They _will _come out soon. And they'll bring Owen with them, too.' A hungry look suddenly passed over her face as she got lost in thoughts that aren't really very suitable for people under the age of twenty one.

Something chirped in her back pocket, and the annoying little noise distracted her from her very entertaining thoughts. Muttering darkly to herself, she pulled out the phone and held it to her ear with her right hand, while the left steadied the binoculars.

'Yo.' She greeted whoever was on the other end of the call.

'_Get inside, Allie. You're getting wet.' _Another American voice informed her. The once hungry look turned into one that contained a vicious snarl as Allie began to yell into the phone.

'NO WAY! I'M STAYING OUT HERE UNTIL ONE OF _YOUR_ LOT COMES OUT OF THAT TOWER! YOU HEAR ME, LYDIA?!'

There was a small pause.

'_Yes, I do hear you, Allie.' _The new voice almost sounded bored, as if it knew that its friend's obsession with Torchwood had been discussed several times with no positive results. _'And we __**see**__ that, too.' _It added reproachfully.

Allie was on her feet in an instant with an exited squeal, her binoculars lying forgotten on the floor. The sheer abruptness of her movement dislodged her jam jar from where it was sitting comfortably on the concrete and onto its side; it uttered a surprised squawk, which soon turned into a roar of agitation as the wind began to roll it around.

'HI LYDIA!' Allie yelled into the rain and at the Torchwood hub. 'HI TOSH! HI OWEN! HI JACK! HI IANTO!' Her left hand suddenly found itself empty, so it waved madly at the tower while Allie offered it a beaming grin.

'_Is that Allie again?' _A woman with a Welsh accent could be heard in the background.

'_Yeah.' _The first voice sighed. _'Allie?' _She asked warily.

'CAN YOU SEE ME WAVING, LYDIA?!'

'_Yes. We can see you waving.' _

'THAT'S SO COOL!'

'_Torchwood is __**not **__for your freak-like friends, Lydia.' _Another distinctly male American voice chided.

'_I know…I know…' _The first voice muttered.

'_I blame you.' _

'_You said that last time!' _

'_I __**still **__blame you.' _The second voice finished darkly.

'_Does she need a tea?' _Said a British voice hopefully.

'_I think she was __**born **__with caffeine in her blood.' _The voice named Lydia mused, and it was beginning to sound more and more agitated.

'HI GUYS!' Allie continued to yell, hardly noticing that her poor jam jar was begin to emit squeals of panic as it teetered on the edge of the roof.

'_JUST GET HER OFF THE DAMN ROOF!' _Jack Harkness yelled after five more minutes of "CAN YOU _REALLY _SEE ME?!" and "SAY HI TO OWEN FOR ME!"

'_I don't know __**how**__!' _Lydia barked back, becoming obviously frustrated with the whole situation.

'_What's happening to her jam jar?' _Asked Gwen Cooper.

'_Oh gosh…ALLIE!' '_

'YEAH?!'

'_LARS!' _

Allie's head snapped to her right, just in time to see the thing in the jar topple over the edge of the building with a squeak of terror.

'OH CRAP!' Allie yelled, and promptly dropped her phone to dive for the jam jar. She caught it flimsily, and juggled it in her hands as she attempted to hold onto the wet glass. She finally got it steady, and she looked down at it. She was kneeling on the edge of the building, and she cradled the unfortunate jar in her hands.

'SORRY LARS!' She panted. The purple thing in the jar turned to give her a beady and angry eye. Its many tentacles pressed up against the glass in what was perhaps the Dalek equivalent of a rude and obscene gesture.

'Return…me…to…my…_shell_!' It demanded, its body bulging with the effort of its words.

Allie decided she couldn't hear the Dalek's demand, and so threw it another apology before bringing it up to sit it beside her again. The Dalek grumbled at her, crossed its tentacles and swirled in its jar to face the other way. Allie sent it a scowl, before she began to wonder what had happened to her phone.

The unmistakable sound of plastic and metal coming apart and throwing itself over several yards came from the pavement below her; Allie peered over the edge to see that her phone was in several pieces, and was strewn across central Cardiff.

'Oh.' She said lamely.

Allie realized she was suddenly _quite _wet indeed.

And she also wanted an umbrella of some sorts.

She sneezed quietly into the Cardiff rain.

**GO AND READ THE COMIC NOW, FOOL! http://girl-on-the-moon(.)deviantart(.)com/gallery/#The-Search-for-the-Truth (Remove all brackets) And prepare to laugh your socks off!**


	2. Of Maniacs and Sunshine

**Chapter Two – Tea Mugs and Bleeping Guitars **

**A/N: **I apologise if I got the nationality of people wrong. I'm such a twit, dammit. ¬¬

A couple of hours later, the sun peeked from behind a cloud, decided it was worth it after all, and catapulted into the grey sky like a great, fiery rocket. The sky also decided that it was time for a change; grey was a boring colour and the rain was just annoying people. So it changed to a nice shade of blue and promptly switched the rain off,

Of course, once these changes were noted, the residents of Cardiff abandoned their Snakes and Ladders and charged out onto the square, determined to get as much enjoyment as they could out of the unexpected sunshine.

People walked to and fro, chattering and nattering about trivial matters, letting their rowdy children scream to their heart's content. The small-ish monsters also played, "It" around the glass tower, which annoyed the busy-looking photographers who were trying to take stunning-looking pictures.

The sunshine also provoked two rather overweight security guards to huff and puff their way to the top of a nearby block of flats to stand over a girl who had inconveniently fallen asleep on the roof. They deliberated whether or not to wake up the girl and risk her releasing the scary looking thing in the jar, or to go back down stairs and finish the remainder of last night's pizza.

And so Allie was left in peace, curled up in her sleep while hugging Lars closer to her chest as two considerably happier security guards had breakfast.

And then a busy sort of peace resumed.

Until a man who was quite obviously a maniac ran screaming onto the scene, wielding a strange looking guitar, which was beeping to itself furiously.

The maniac's name was David.

And the guitar's name was the Clairey-Wairey Detector.

This was because it made cool noises and flashed whenever David's friend Claire was around.

But she was nowhere to be seen. But David was _quite _sure that she was hiding somewhere with that British man.

The thought of the strange, inconspicuous and banana grove loving Brit seemed to heighten David's utter fury.

'WHERE IS SHE?!' He demanded from no one in particular. Many stopped and stared while nearly _everyone _whipped out their camera phones. This confused, guitar wielding Canadian would almost certainly provide internet _gold_. 'SHE'S HERE! I KNOW SHE IS!' David yelled at everyone. 'SEE?!' He thrust the beeping and fizzling guitar into the face of anyone who was looking on, with a crazed look on his face. People nodded politely at him and moved their children out of his immediate five mile radius with very concerned looks.

'WHERE IS THE TRUTH?!' David yelled in a broken sort of way as a new figure skidded onto the scene with an extremely worried look on his face.

And _his _name was Josh. And at that very moment he was quite annoyed at himself for letting David out of his sight for _one minute_.

He looked wildly around him, and spied a small group of teenagers who were giving him funny looks.

'Have you seen -…'

'A bloke wielding a funny looking guitar and an obsession with "Truth"?' One of the teenagers finished for Josh, craving air quotes with his fingers to put around the word, "Truth"

'Umm…yes.' Josh said sheepishly.

As one, they pointed in David's direction solemnly.

'Err…thanks!' Josh said hurriedly, and ran in that direction.

By now, the infant monsters had formed a circle around poor David, and were prodding him with sticks to see if he would do anymore tricks. They squealed and scattered in several directions when David roared, "TRUTH!" at them in his loudest and most scariest voice.

'C'mon buddy…' Josh murmured at him when he had finally managed to push his way from the laughing and slightly annoyed crowd that had gathered around David.

'JOSH!' David roared upon seeing him. Every head turned to send a burning glare at Josh, who suddenly rather wished that the concrete beneath him would conveniently open up and swallow him whole.

'Is _he _your responsibility, love?' One woman demanded, jerking a thumb over her shoulder in David's direction, who was now craning his head in a vain attempt to catch sight of Josh.

'I wish he wasn't.' Josh muttered darkly, and pushed his way past to face David.

'It was beeping!' David insisted. 'She's here somewhere…the light flashed and _everything_…' And as if to prove him right, the Clairey-Wairey Detector's light bulb gave a helpful and solitary flicker. 'SEE?!' David yelled triumphantly, thrusting the guitar outwards so Josh could get a better look. Josh gave him a slow nod, and gently took it from him. David gave an anguished little murmur as the mutilated instrument was torn from his fingertips.

'Right…' Josh said. 'We're gonna' go and sit in that café over there…and we're gonna' take a look at this thing…OK?' He finished slowly, pronouncing each word carefully as he laid a cautionary hand on David's shoulder. David gave a defeated and detected nod as Josh guided him out of the crowd, who threw a glare over his shoulder at anyone who dared murmur, "We should sue…danger to the public…"

And as David was quietly led away, an inconspicuous piece of pavement that was situated at the base of the glass tower remained inconspicuous.

Because it was blessed with a handy little device called a Perception Filter.

Named so because it filtered your perception of it to its advantage. You simply didn't want to know whatever…or whoever was standing on that block of pavement. They weren't of interest to you. You move along to your flat to finish that steak pie you bought yesterday.

You could stand on that block of pavement for several years…in the _nude_…and no one would notice you. At all.

Not unless you decided to hop off it and run around Cardiff…in which case you would probably get arrested for indecent exposure.

It was a wonderful little device.

And it was currently in use.

The Clairey-Wairey detector hadn't been defective at all. Merely blind.

Because Claire stood frozen on the handy little slab, watching David and Josh go with a worried look on her face. She sighed in relief, realising that if she had spotted her screaming friend a second later than she had…the Truth would have forced its way out with many consequences.

And the Truth was currently muttering to itself on the other end of the phone she held in her fist, asking if she remembered to buy bananas and complaining about the human race in general.

'Oh shut up.' She hissed at it, and promptly snapped the phone shut. She wallowed in pity for David and herself for a moment, before she gave the pavement below her an agitated stomp with her foot.

'I want in.' She told it. And, with a series of whirrs, the slab of pavement lowered into the ground, taking a moody looking Claire with it. The transaction was made smoothly, and her slab was replaced with an equally inconspicuous one.

**I made you all wait...and I be SORRY! *Wails* Will have next chapter up sooner than this one. :/**


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